Let’s talk about how to masturbate. It’s easy enough to get online and find articles that gleefully say things like, “Go forth and masturbate! You liberated goddess!” or, “Learn about your body by figuring out what you like!” Most likely, some of your favorite celebrities have talked about masturbation.

But, what about if you’re totally on board with that line of thinking, can’t wait to get cracking, but don’t know where to begin. Sex education in the U.S. (and across the globe, TBH) is kind of a disaster. Only 17 states mandate that students be taught sex ed that is medically accurate, which means scientifically based.

On top of this conundrum, schools aren't required to teach about pleasure. Everything is based in reproductive safety. You know, the old “here’s how not to get pregnant” spiel. While that is undeniably important information, there is more to sex than that.

No wonder you know nothing about masturbation. It’s not your fault, bb. You’re likely not going to learn about the clitoris in school, the part of your sexual organs that is solely designed for pleasure.

In fact, the scientific community didn’t even know about the full structure of the internal clitoris (yes, this is a thing) until the 1990s. How about that?

Luckily, we have got you covered. Here is your no-nonsense, 101 guide to masturbation for vagina owners. From how to masturbate with your fingers to using toys, we’ve got your back. It’s not like you automatically know how to touch a clitoris if you’ve never even been taught what it is or what it does.

Types of masturbation

There are all kinds of ways to masturbate, and no one is better than the other. Basically, it's whatever feels good for you. For people with vaginas, clitoral stimulation often feels really good, and might be the easiest way to achieve orgasm. Vaginal penetration can also feel good, if it's something you're interested in. If you do decide to try out penetration, you can locate your g-spot, another potential pleasure center to explore. While you're down there, you can feel free to try anal masturbation, by either rubbing your anus, or inserting fingers or a toy with a flared base (if you decide to try anal stimulation, always remember to use lube! We have a full guide on how to safely try butt stuff, so check that out first). Also, it's important to remember that masturbation doesn't have to strictly involve your genitals. Touching your nipples, caressing your thighs, or rubbing any other area that feels good can also bring you pleasure. You also don't have to stick to one kind of masturbation at a time — feel free to move from area to area as long as it feels good (but PSA: you shouldn't touch your vagina or use toys on your vagina that have touched your anus without washing them first as that can lead to infections).

You can try any of these types of masturbation using your hands, or you can introduce a toy if that feels exciting to you.

How to find your clitoris

Take a hot second to look up a diagram of the vagina. The first thing you need to know is where your pleasure zones are located before venturing forth to explore them. The clitoris is a rosebud like bump at the apex of the labia. It sits right inside the labia minora, at the very top. This is your vaginal pleasure center: Packed with 8,000 nerve endings, stimulating the clitoris is the best way to reach orgasm for many people.

You will know when you’ve had an orgasm. There isn’t much doubt about it.

How to locate your g-spot

Ok, so you've got the clitoris down. If you’re feeling a bit on the adventurous side, you can try locating your g-spot, too. Every vagina is different. Some people enjoy purely clitoral stimulation, some enjoy a combination of clitoral and g-spot stimulation.

Don’t get intimidated. It may sound like a lot to remember, but it’s really not. Don’t jump right into double stimulation. Locate your g-spot first. Do this by inserting one or two fingers into the vagina. Make a hook with your fingers and feel right behind your pubic bone.

You should feel a small, walnut-textured patch. The g-spot is actually the root of the clitoris, the internal portion. All orgasms are actually clitoral. Isn’t anatomy fun?

How to masturbate with your fingers

Now that you've figured out your anatomy and what kind of touch feels good, next you need to learn how to masturbate with your hands. Start with the clitoris: Use one to two fingers to feel for it. It should feel just like a bump. Start experimenting with different pressures while you rub it in rhythmic circles. You may find that you enjoy more pressure, or less pressure. Every vagina is different.

Don’t get freaked out if it feels weird at first. Your first few experiences with masturbation might be a little bit uncomfortable and emotionally charged. It’s a new experience. Once something feels good, stick with it. Consistency is key.

Take some time to play around.

While trying a bunch of new things right away can be tempting, during the first few tries, you want to focus on learning what brings you to orgasm.

If you're interested in trying to stimulate your g-spot, insert your fingers into your vagina just as you did when you were finding it. Take some time to press and rub the g-spot. See if that works for you. If it does, awesome. If not, stick with clitoral stimulation. Penetration of any kind can be quite intense for beginners. You are not weird if you prefer one kind of pleasure over another. It is your body and you have total agency. No one is allowed to tell you what you should or should not like.

Try out toys

Manual stimulation (meaning your fingers) will likely bring you to orgasm, but if you can get a small finger vibrator, you should. There are plenty of discreet, adorable, not-at-all-scary options to choose from.

If you need ideas, Dame makes a tiny vibe called Fin that is basically an extension of your fingers and perfect if you’ve never used a vibrator before. Or, you can go for one of these vibes that can give you an orgasm in record time, plus they look like beauty products. You can order these online and have them in just a few days.

You can use these finger vibes to stimulate your clitoris, or even to use on your labia as you stimulate yourself manually. If you're interested in penetration, you can look into a g-spot vibrator, or any variety of toys made for inserting into the vagina.

There is nothing shameful about having a pleasure product. Hey, I had my first vibe when I was 14. It’s a great way to have an orgasm and avoid both pregnancy and STDs.

Experiment with different positions

Now that you have the basics down, you can try switching things up. Rather than just lying on your back, you can try sitting, standing, propping your hips up with a pillow, kneeling on all fours, or any other position in which you find pleasure. You can also try masturbating in different settings, like on your bed, in a chair, or in the shower.

Use lube

While the vagina provides natural lubrication, adding some extra lube can introduce a more pleasurable experience. Try a drop or two of a water-based, unscented lube for a new sensation (like this Sex Gel from Nécessaire). (You should avoid any scented or "warming" lubes, as they can be irritating!)

What is an orgasm? What does it feel like?

You will know when you’ve had an orgasm. There isn’t much doubt about it. In my personal experience, I’ve found that it’s a slow build-up and then a wonderful, delightful release.

Sexual desire happens in four stages: desire (libido), arousal (excitement), orgasm and resolution. Desire is when you first begin to feel, well, the desire for sex. Your heart rate will quicken, your nipples may become hard, and blood will start to flow to your genitals. Next comes arousal, in which your responses that started in phase 1 intensify. The orgasm is the climax of your sexual response, and occurs when involuntary muscle contractions begin, heart and breathing rates are at their highest, and a flush might overcome your skin — known as the post-sex glow. The resolution is the time after sex, when your body gets back to its normal, unaroused state.

You are not weird if you prefer one kind of pleasure over another. It is your body and you have total agency.

Remember, masturbation is good for you

Finally, remember that masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. I know you may feel nervous about it and confused by the feelings you’re having. You’re growing up and becoming an adult.

All of these new emotions and desires are completely normal.

Take some time to play around. Enjoy yourself and explore what makes you feel good. You’ve got this, babe. Masturbation is a stress reliever and has many other health benefits. It just takes getting to know your body with a little practice.

Gigi Engle is a writer and sex educator in NYC. She is a certified member of the World Association of Sex Coaches, and serves as a Pleasure Professional with the O.School, where she teaches classes on things like pleasure, sexual health, and confidence.