We've already given you a guide for how to masturbate if you have a vagina. But what’s the best way to masturbate if you have a penis? Here's your guide for that, too — and yes, there actually is a lot to learn when it comes to how to masturbate better.
You may think that masturbating with a penis is pretty straightforward and doesn’t require a comprehensive guide. This is giving very little credit to the art of masturbation and the multitude of pathways to explore, regardless of which set of reproductive organs you possess.
Masturbation is a healthy practice and you should in no way feel ashamed for wanting to engage in it.
Everyone can benefit from some masturbation tips and guidelines to better master self-love — it’s not like you’re going to learn about this stuff in school. So let’s get started! In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about improving your masturbation technique, including some of our favorite tips for reaching orgasm.
Keep reading for some information on how to masturbate if you have a penis. Some ideas you might want to try, some you might not — it's all up to you.
Health benefits of masturbation
Before we get to the masturbation tips, let's talk about why it can be good for your health. Not only is it totally natural to masturbate, but it can also help reduce stress, help you sleep better, improve your body image, and more, according to Planned Parenthood. And as an added bonus, there's no chance of contracting STIs, unwanted pregnancy, or any of the other risks involved in partnered sex.
More than that, a good, solid masturbation session also helps you figure out what you like sexually and what you're comfortable with. That’s a key component of your future sex life, and can make you better able to communicate what you want and what you don't — which is an important part of consent.
How to Masturbate Like a Pro
1. Find your stroke
To get things started, use your hand to find a rhythm you love. Finding your rhythm when you masturbate takes time and practice. Some people enjoy rapid strokes, some enjoy slower strokes, and others like a variety when it comes to reaching orgasm. There is no limit to the ways you can use your hand to explore your penis. When in doubt, stay consistent until you find what works for you.
2. Once you've found your stroke, switch it up
Masturbation is not a one-size-fits-all thing, and it's something you can practice regularly. You may find that a stroke you liked at one point makes way for something else in the future. That’s totally normal. Enjoy some variety in each masturbation session, using varied strokes or trying new ones to keep things spicy.
Masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom.
3. Take your time
Regardless of what you’ve seen on popular television shows and in movies, masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom. It doesn’t need to be a race to finish if you don’t want it to be.
Sure, locking the door adds privacy which can help set the mood, but what you’re doing isn’t shameful or bad. Set some time to actually enjoy the process of learning how to masturbate. Don’t rush it. Listen to your body and see what feels good for you. Find the erogenous zones that work best for you. Do you prefer stimulation at the head of the penis? The base?
Everybody is different, and every person enjoys different things. If you learn what you like, you will be more fully equipped for interpersonal sexual experiences down the road, which will help you enjoy a healthier sex life.
4. Lube is your best friend
If you’re wondering how to masturbate better, there’s a good chance lube could be missing from your life. The friction of your hand directly on your penis for a prolonged period of time is not a particularly good feeling. The right lube is important for all sex acts, from masturbation to intercourse.
When it comes to the best way to masturbate, there’s an enduring myth that lotion is a popular option for a masturbation session, but lotion is not lube. Sure, it’s easy to find around the house and is convenient, but it isn’t ideal for masturbation. Your penis is a sensitive area, and some scented lotions can actually cause irritation (which is not fun).
Always opt for lube. If you have access to or are able to buy lube, go for a water-based, unscented option. Anything with “warming” components or flavoring may also cause itching or irritation.
In some cases, getting your hands on lube may be difficult. If this is the case, there are some household options that can work. You can use 100% coconut oil or 100% aloe vera as lube (this does not include sunburn lotion with aloe vera or similar products). Make sure what you’re using is 100% pure.
5. Give your balls some love
You may want to explore your body even more on your quest for reaching orgasm, and that is fantastic. Don’t ignore your balls. They are very sensitive and packed with nerve endings.
Try rubbing them gently with one hand while the other maintains a stroke. You can even stop stroking altogether and just pay close attention to the balls. How much pressure you put on your sack will depend on your individual preference. Try a few different options during your next masturbation session and see what works for you.
6. Prostate stimulation is definitely an option, too
Masturbating need not be relegated solely to the penis. Your prostate is a gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated. Lube up and try using your fingers or a small butt plug by inserting it into the anus. (Remember: never put anything in your anus that doesn't have a flared base!) Be sure you go slowly and relax the anus before insertion.
Keep in mind that anally stimulating yourself while stroking your penis may be challenging. It might be best to focus on one or the other, at least to start.
Your prostate is a gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated.
If you aren’t open to trying prostate stimulation, that’s perfectly all right. When it comes to the best way to masturbate, it’s important to understand that everyone has personal preferences for reaching orgasm. Prostate stimulation is enjoyable for some and not for others. Deciding what to try and what to skip is totally up to you.
7. Include other erogenous zones
Common erogenous zones — places that feel really great to be touched — on someone with a penis are the penis (obviously), the scrotum, and the perineum. The perineum is the space between the anus and the scrotum, and many people love to be touched here. If you choose, you could explore this area to see if it helps stimulate you further while reaching orgasm. If it doesn’t, no worries! Simply move on for now and consider trying again another time.
It’s good to know that there are other erogenous zones that may come into play a bit more during partnered sex, rather than during masturbation. But if you’re wondering, common erogenous zones are your butt, your inner thighs, your chest and your nipples.
8. Try different positions
Who said masturbation has to be stationary? Try out different positions to not only switch things up, but also to enhance your pleasure and find what works best for you. You can stand up, lie down, push your hips forward or elevate them with a pillow — really, the options are endless.
9. Introduce toys to your repertoire
Vibrators and sex toys can be a great way to take things to a new level when you’re learning how to masturbate. You can opt for a traditional vibrator, using it to massage your balls or shaft for a new sensation, or you can try a masturbation sleeve for a new sensation (be sure to use a water-based lube with these!). If you're interested in prostate stimulation, there are toys specifically for that purpose, too.
10. Try it with a partner
If you have a partner that you’re in a close relationship with, you could try masturbating together. This works well both for sexually active couples, and those who are trying to wait a bit before having penetrative sex. This super-stimulating activity allows you both to feel intense pleasure while being together physically. And who knows? Reaching orgasm together but apart just might be the hot new thing to check off your to-do list.
11. Remind yourself that masturbation is a healthy form of self-care
Hopefully you have a supportive community that values sexual health and free expression, but this isn’t the case for everyone. We live in a sex-negative culture, one that puts a lot of pressure on people to act in a certain way, without providing information about the significance of sexual health in a person’s life.
Masturbation is a healthy practice and you should in no way feel ashamed for wanting to engage in it. It is a way to explore what you like, release energy, and learn about your body.
