Figuring out how to use a vibrator can be a little overwhelming, particularly when you’re searching for your very first sex toy. Should you get that slightly intimidating-looking rabbit vibrator or that tiny little bullet vibrator?
That’s why Teen Vogue spoke to sex experts to get the best tips on how to use a vibrator—and which ones are the best for getting down as a first-timer.
“Buying a pleasure product for the first time is an exciting and freeing experience,” said Kit Richardson, certified sexual health and pleasure educator and the buyer and merchandiser for the Museum of Sex. “You are investing in pleasure and yourself, so you want to make sure you do it the right way. Set aside the preconceived notions, myths, taboos, and guilt surrounding pleasure, and you are ready to embark on the adventure of a lifetime.”
If you’re a first-timer, here’s how to use a vibrator—along with some suggestions for the best ones to start your ~sexy adventure~.
1. Set the mood
If you’re having a hard time getting out of your head, a little ambiance goes a long way, Richardson said.
“Plan your sexperience with a date night for yourself,” she said. “Take a bath, light some candles, and even turn on some Billie Eilish. Relaxation and arousal are essential to experiencing pleasure, and if your body is prepared, [your] vibrator is charged, and your mind is at ease, pleasure will come naturally.”
2. Make sure your vibrator is juiced up
Nothing kills the mood like a dead battery.
“If battery-operated, make sure to use fresh batteries,” said sexologist Megan Stubbs, EdD, author of Playing Without a Partner: A Singles’ Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness. “Don't pull the ones from your remote — they aren't strong enough. If it’s a rechargeable vibe, make sure it’s fully charged. You don't want [the] disappointment of being so close to orgasm only to have your toy die on you.”
3. Take your time
It’s understandable to feel a little performance anxiety even when you’re going solo, but don't be afraid to go slow and figure out what feels good to you. “This isn’t a race,” Richardson told Teen Vogue. “[S]ometimes, when we go too quickly, especially when pleasure is involved, we miss the beauty of the process.”
4. Explore your body
You can have all the right materials, but it can be hard to get started if you don’t know what you like! “If you haven’t explored your body and the sensations that turn you on, you’ll have some difficulty picking the right product,” Richardson advised. “Spend some time navigating the pleasure points of your body. Once you’ve established what feels good, [whether it's] internal stimulation, external stimulation, or even both, you are ready to start the process of your pleasure product purchase.”
5. Variety is key
Don’t forget that most vibrators come with multiple settings and that they might feel extra good to you in certain contexts — but you’ll only know if you try.
“Play around with different techniques, settings, and positions,” Richardson said. “The same vibrator may feel different when you are lying on your stomach versus when you are lying on your back. Get creative. This is your time.”
6. Opt for a customizable vibe
If you have some trouble finding what you want, why not make what you want? “Versatility is sexy, but so is customizability,” Richardson said. “There are products on the market that allow you, the user, to customize your toy for the best experience.”
7. Add a little something extra
The fun isn’t just in the sex toys, Richardson highlights: there are gels and lubes that can help enhance your pleasure. “These enhancers can be used to add extra sensation to playtime,” Richardson explained. “Often a gel and can be applied directly to the clitoris, enhancers encourage more blood flow to the area, making you more sensitive, and [they] can have warming, cooling, and even tingly effects.”
8. Remember what the real goal is
It’s good to be goal-oriented, but in this case, don’t get too stressed about the big O. Focus on having a good time instead, and remind yourself that there’s no “right” way to do it.
“Don’t get discouraged,” Richardson told Teen Vogue. “It’s a new experience and can take a few times getting used to. Have patience and take your time. Our goal isn’t orgasm, our goal is pleasure.”
9. Keep it clean
We’re talking literally here: Keep your vibrators and sex toys clean. “You’ve invested in a product and yourself, so you want to make sure that product lasts,” Richardson pointed out. “Cleaning your product is key to a long toy life and a happy body.”
10. Give your vibes a home
Don’t just toss your sex toys under your bed when they’re not in use. It’s important to have a designated, clean place to store them, Richardson highlighted: “[W]ash your toys before and after use. Now, that is ideal, and we often get caught up in the moment and don’t have time to clean beforehand; therefore, just make sure once playtime is done, you clean your toy with your new cleaner and keep it in a safe spot away from the sun, dust, and other toys.”
11. Don’t be afraid to branch out
Stubbs highlights that you don’t have to marry your first vibrator. You might opt to buy budget versions of different styles before investing in a higher-price product. “Try multiple styles of toys!” Stubbs emphasizes. “If one toy doesn't work for you, try another type like a bullet, wand, dual motor, rabbit, pebble, or ride-on toy.”
